Seize the daY!

sibling separation

I was never close to my one and only sibling, my elder brother. when we were kids, we fought a lot, and i mean a lot. It reached a point where my mother bought us boxing gloves. every time we fought, my mother gave us the gloves and directed us to wear it. she said she was so tired of our shouting, guess she thought boxing would "quiet" us (especially if somebody was knocked out already, hehehe!).

I guess this is because we didn't grow together. He grew up with my parents, and i grew with my grandparents. We were only brought together when i started school. by this time he was already grade 2.

My mom told me kid stories about me and my Kuya. She told me that my brother was really really cute when he was born(ok fine, add insult to injury! ;0). He was a 9-pounder and i was a mere 4.3. (my mom always says that when i was born, it was SOOO easy for her, so easy that she thought she just urinated, but alas! i was out na pala, hmp! gawin ba akong urine! ;0) My parents were so fund of cuddling Kuya, because she was chubby while my dad barely carried me (sob sob!)because he was afraid he might break me as i looked so fragile when i was a baby (naks! fragile ako?!!)

as we grew up, kuya had the most favored child clause. He would have better birthday parties than i do. He had better school stuffs than i do and he had bigger baon to school (hmp!) He had a room while our living room became my room for a year. He would ALWAYS ALWAYS have the backing of my parents everytime we had a fight. Galing pa manggatong nyan sa parents ko pag pinapagalitan ako. He would bring up my past mistakes so that my parents would ground me some more. We really had terrible fights. That's why every time one becomes nice to the other, we would ask each other if we have a fever or were we into a lot of drugs. ;0)

But in all honesty, i never loved my brother no less. I remember when i was a kid, i used to go home with a black eye because i rumbled with somebody who hit my brother. i used to save money from my baon to buy even a small gift for his birthday.

2004 was a tough year for my brother. (I am just glad he overcame his storm and i am so proud of you Kuya). this was also the year when my brother left the country to work. my parents were so much against his overseas work. But my Kuya was determined to leave. somehow, i also wanted him to leave (considering what he has been through). I thought it was his time to be independent, to find his place under the sun by himself, without the usual assistance of our parents. I thought that this experience will make him stronger.

This was the first time we got separated (with such distance and time). and i cried when he was leaving. I remember him comforting me, assuring me that he's goin to be fine and that he will work hard to make it there. I know we were never close, but my Kuya is the family's baby. It was tough letting go.

After his stint in Saudi Arabia he came home to the Philippines and spent 6 months here to look for a new company to work for. During these 6 months, we would have occasional fights, like the old times, without the boxing gloves though. but we would eventually be ok. Last week, he informed me that he found new work and he was leaving soon. He actually leaves tomorrow at 8:30AM. I really would've wanted my Kuya to stay for his family, for my parents and for me But i know we shouldn't clip his wings if he wants to fly.

To my Kuya, good luck. I hope you will be able to make it again. Bring with you our prayers for your constant safety and our love. We shall await your homecoming. We will always be here for you, and should you feel the need to break somebody's neck there, i won't mind flying in to help you out, promise! I love you Kuya.

sucked out life @ 2:33 PM